A little catch up

It’s summer of 2020. Covid has sent everyone home to work and bunker down. The rules and regulations for outings even as simple as a grocery store run has become strict and everything seems to be sprinkled with a bit more anxiety than normal.

R and I finally have a little more flexibility in our schedule to really dive into fertility treatments. I’m so grateful because after two failed medical cycles, a third one takes and WE ARE PREGNANT.

With infertility, there are few surprises. We get a call on week four of pregnancy (two weeks after my trigger shot) to confirm that there is infect a little zygote in my uterus.
I remember being so thrilled and so full of peace. I snuggled into rob and cried. How surreal.

My pregnancy was easy. In contrast to the heart ache of trying to become pregnant, this was bliss. There were some food aversions and the tiredness I felt was incomparable. These were things I was grateful to have though because of what they meant.

We had one little scare in about January, about three months before my due date. I had the most intense pain in my ribs. I couldn’t breath and it came on like a car crash. I was in tears from pain and panic. Was something wrong? Would this go away? Is this pain a snapshot of labor? Am I going into labor??
Rob drove me to the hospital where they admitted me to labor and delivery. As soon as that pain came on, it left just the same. It last about 30-40 minutes but with it gone I wondered if I had just overreacted. The hospital chalked it up to gas pain and I was mortified. Did I really just go to the ER for gas?

March 19th, 2021 I gave birth to our absolutely perfect baby girl. Eleanore Devin Haggard came into this world weighing 6lbs 15oz at 11:40 am. She was everything I could have dreamed of. My labor went very smoothly. I was so grateful for our doctor and medical team. Rob was able to help guide Eleanore out and to be able to have my partner and love in life help with the delivery was magical.
That’s the only word I have for March 19th, 2021. Magic.
If I could relive any day again, it would be that day.

Remember that gas pain? It was back. It happened more frequently now. I would double over in pain and throw up anything I ate. It was debilitating. I would lay on the couch in sweat and hope Eleanore wouldn’t need me till the pain passed. Sometimes it would wake me up from a dead sleep and keep me up for a few hours. On my third week postpartum, rob mentioned my color looked off….I looked yellow? It was a Sunday so everything but the ER was closed. I found my PhD on the internet and got to work hoping it wasn’t anything that would require an ER visit.

liver failure.
hepatitis.
gall stones.
kidney stones.
emergency ER visit.
immediate surgery.
get to a doctor now.

All these words were all I could find. Not a drop of comfort or wait it out. So I made an appointment for Monday (it was Sunday) to get into the doctor and get an actual diagnosis.

Gallstones.

Why does no one tell you that two major factors in gallbladder failure is being a woman and pregnancy? Hey, I’m currently one of those and just wrapped up with the other.

After lots of tests and confirmation, I was scheduled at 6 weeks postpartum to get my gallbladder removed. This probably sounds horrible, but let me tell you. It was absolutely worth it to make the pain stop.

Surgery went perfectly. Rob was my saving grace. He made sure I was taken care of through the whole recovery. Watching him bloom into fatherhood and seeing our little family of two become a family of 3 was a dream come true. 

Now it’s been five months and I don’t know how time goes by so fast and so slow.

All I do know is life does this weird thing of making sure it works out. The lows will have a high that will always make it worth it.